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#MaybeHeDoesntHitYou But He Doesn’t Make You Feel Good Either

http://biancatschaikner.com/Domestic-Violence-Women-s-refuge
http://biancatschaikner.com/Domestic-Violence-Women-s-refuge

*Trigger Warning: Abuse, Violence, Rape*

The hashtag #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou became popular on Twitter recently. It is focused on abuse (specifically emotional abuse) that is so commonly present in relationships. Abuse in relationships is an ongoing problem in the United States considering that one in three adolescents is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from their significant other. Physical abuse has gotten to the point (thanks to lots of support and advocacy) where it is nearly common sense that if a boyfriend punches his girlfriend until she passes out, they are a perpetrator of domestic abuse. But what about the emotional abusers? What about the women who don’t have physical scars, but have more emotional scars than one can count? Emotional abuse is lacking significantly in advocacy and awareness. It’s about time that ends.

Emotional abuse is often hidden from the eyes of the public, unlike a black eye or bruised neck. This makes it hard to tell if someone is being emotionally abused. Emotional abuse can be subtle too, it isn’t always in the form of verbal threats. Sometimes even the victims themselves are unaware that they are in a toxic relationship, which is why so many victims go without seeking help. Add in the fact that there is a huge stigma surrounding emotional abuse (“Oh please, everyone fights in a relationship.”) and it’s a recipe for disaster.  Some people believe that if their partner doesn’t commit some obviously abusive act (like physically hurting them), then their partner doesn’t qualify for abuse. That is distorted thinking because emotional abuse takes many forms, all of which don’t involve physical harm. What even is emotional abuse? Well, it is a regular pattern of verbal offense, threatening, bullying, constant criticism, as well as intimidation, shaming, and manipulation. Emotional abuse is often seen as a cloudy subject that is hard to recognize, but once you know the signs it will become quite clear whether it is abuse or not. Check out this demonstration and take this quiz to see if your relationship is exhibiting signs of abuse.

So, maybe your boyfriend doesn’t rape you, but he tells you that if you wear that short skirt out in public then you deserved to be raped. Maybe he doesn’t hold a knife to your throat, but he holds your past against you. Maybe he doesn’t scare you, except for when he goes on those jealous rampages. Maybe he doesn’t actually hit you, but he threatens to hit you or worse. Just because you don’t have physical marks to prove abuse doesn’t mean there can’t be another form of abuse present. Emotional abuse is real and more common than you think. Please reach out for help if you need it, yes – even if he doesn’t hit you. Check out some of these tweets from #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou below and make sure to add your own! Join the online campaign to participate in the fight against emotional abuse.

https://twitter.com/creepygrrl/status/729433514890936321

https://twitter.com/creepygrrl/status/729434501248630786

https://twitter.com/nangatse/status/729754609531621376

https://twitter.com/Keegannnnn/status/729758371453251584

https://twitter.com/tyriquex/status/729761659737280514

https://twitter.com/BrookeObie/status/729375421117108224

https://twitter.com/singing_ghosts/status/729776795713671170

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