Written by Sami Reeves
Being the “b” in the lgbt+ community doesn’t mean bisexuality is treated fairly and is accepted. Bisexual erasure is a constant problem in which others question the legitimacy of our sexuality saying we’re “confused” or “going through a phase.”
People we love and trust to help us through times of struggle are teaching us that we should just “pick one” and I can’t help but feel ultimately humiliated by hearing that from anyone. Even people in the lgbt+ community don’t trust or believe in bisexuality which makes things even more complicated for us, people who know how impossible and trapping it feels to be something other than straight in this society are telling me that my sexuality isn’t valid.
Believing only two sexualities exist (straight and gay) is not only biphobic but panphobic, polyphobic, etc. and I quite frankly am sick of it. I honestly cannot believe that people, just because they don’t understand something, are acting like it doesn’t even exist. Being bisexual does not mean you like both genders at the same level, you could be more attracted to females or you could be more attracted to males, it does not make you any less bisexual. It infuriates me when people say otherwise, acting like if I like girls more I’m a lesbian in denial or if I like boys more I’m a straight girl looking for attention.
That is completely ignorant and not true.
Myths:
• “Bisexuals are cheaters!” No cheaters are cheaters they can be any gender, any race, and any sexuality. • “Bisexuals are scared of commitment.” Being attracted to two different genders does not mean I’m scared of commitment nor does my sexuality have anything to do with that.
• My personal favorite: “All Bisexuals are polyamorous.” Again, false and yes, some may very well be and that is fine, but I can say for a fact that not all bisexuals are. Bisexuality is not tied with polyamory! Get that through your heads people! I don’t date two people of two genders at once just because I am attracted to said genders. Let’s say I date a man this month and if we break up I’ll date whoever I like, and no, I won’t wake up one day and say “Hey! I’m going to date a girl this week.” That isn’t how it works.
• “Bisexuals are only attracted to binary genders” Oh Lord, why must there be so many ignorant people in this world? No,bisexuality is being attracted to two or more genders, it is not that exclusive in some cases. Bisexuality is literally being attracted to the same gender you identify as and other genders and yes not just the opposite gender, non-binary genders as well hence the plural “genders.” To wrap this up, in a nutshell bisexuality is “to be attracted — romantically and/or sexually — to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way and not necessarily to the same degree.” – Robyn Ochs Bisexuals do exist. Bisexuality is valid. I love people deal with it!
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